It reminds me of my days of fertility treatments. One big difference was we knew exactly what day we would get an answer. Disappointing answer after disappointing answer, followed by tears and a new plan of action. When I think back to our first IVF I still can't believe it worked. I was so stressed. I was at work teaching my co-workers about our new computer system. Only a couple people knew I was waiting for my results. I felt like every breath I took was so deep and I was quivering all over. Its a wonder I didn't pass out! The Dr. was supposed to call my husband with the results in the afternoon. (I wonder how many women are told they are pregnant by their husbands) I walked out of my office and saw him in the parking lot. It makes me nervous just remembering! I really had no idea if it was a good or bad sign that he drove to my office to tell me the news. He handed me a card and said "we did it". We cried and hugged and then went back to work. I went straight to a conference room and called my Mom. She answered quickly and I quietly said "Mom, they said it worked".
I think the majority of my pregnancy I was in some sort of shock. I couldn't really picture an end result. I was so set on getting pregnant and then finally I was. When D was born a new love was also born in me like nothing I'd ever known before. I truly believe it is this great gift from God that has given me the strength and courage to pursue adoption now. I have been able to stretch myself further than I ever dreamed possible. I have learned so much about myself and met so many wonderful, insightful people with similar stories.
This road has been and still is long and hilly, filled with potholes and detours but I'm going to keep going, or waiting, following my heart and watching for butterflies and rainbows along the way.
Hi Julie - thanks for posting to my blog! You invited me to check yours out, but the fact is, I found yours a couple of weeks ago and have been tracking your progress because you are a little ahead of us. I can definitely relate to your last posting - we also went through IVF twice, but were unsuccessful. We are about to pop, now, waiting for this adoption to go through! I was going to send you my e-mail, but it looks like this comment will be posted immediately, and I am kind of intense about privacy - so if you'd like to send me your e-mail via my blog, it will be sent to me for preview, and I will not post your e-mail address. Does that make sense?? Best wishes! Aimee (fluitt.blogspot.com)
ReplyDeleteHi there. Wishing you the best of luck on your journey to number 2. Your story of finding out about your first pregnancy brought tears to my eyes and made me smile........I like you found out I was pregnant with my daughter from my husband. She is an IUI baby and we were only given a 3% change of success (one egg and on the right side where my tube appeared to be blocked) my periods were late and i refused to test. Finally 3 days after they were due my husband told me I had to go for a blood test. I finally gave into it but told him he could call for results as after 3 years of trying for our fist child I was convinced it would be negative.........well the rest is history and we have a beautiful healthy 9 1/2 year old to prove it!! We did go onto to conceive again but lost our son in a second trimester loss due to incompetent cervix and have subsequently gone on in 2006 to complete our family through adoption with our little Kazman Orin who is from Almaty Region, Kazakhstan.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck over the next while. I too never thought it would happen, and never believed we would be so lucky as to have 2 living children............but today we have a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son - life is very good and everything I dreamed of and longed for.
Look forward to sharing your journey.